habit and rancor

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GJK, 16MAR2017

from WRIGHT THE BOOK

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‘habit and rancor’

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hello, predictable. hello, habit. hello shitty diner coffee

that i do so love with every fiber of my mortal being, every mote

of the ephemeral essence that is not me, yet, in truth, is entirely

me and you and every living thing that ever was and ever will be (which means nothing because time is a fiction) and because, as we have learned and understood for eternity — time is not real.

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conversely, timelessness is also not real. confusion enters

the mind and sugar is stirred into the ‘brackish black liquid’

and down my gullet it goes and once again i proclaim:

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Sentence structure be damned to the deepest bowels

of the most foul, vile and wicked lake of fire

that sentience itself has ever imagined within

the rancorous confines of earthly existence!

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YAWP! grammar, to hell with thee! freedom, expression, caffeine! exaltation and liberty!

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phantom [appears in self-published book Chokehold]

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paranoia.

everyone hates me they despise me i’m a joke to them

they all want to laugh cackle guffaw point at me giggling

they want to belittle me embarrass me harass me they all

think i’m useless a waste of flesh a waste of space

my vain scratchings are futile and infantile no one wants

to read my words they think i’m dumb i’m on to them!

i know i’m an alien i am aware

my world is small they all want to yell at me berate me

conspiracies everywhere complex plots to get rid of me

everyone is the enemy no one to trust that guy over there

works for the FBI why is he staring at me and writing down

little notes?  he wants to incarcerate me incinerate me

strap me in an electric chair everyone laughing and mocking

as i fry as my eyes melt i am small no hiding from them

they are everywhere they have cameras in my bedroom

nowhere to go no one to trust can’t trust myself

maybe i am really one of them –

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paranoia.

existence is a game meant to defeat me

people won’t ever understand me they want to

erase me forget me i am insignificant

they are laughing riotously they are so amused

i am worthless i am in pain

i am so full of loathing and disdain

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i cannot bear it  –  paranoia  –

phantom.

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GJK

7JUN02

rev. 7DEC02

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