Archive for humor

a simple thing complicated by thinking

Posted in humor, love, New Poems, poems 2017 with tags , , , , , , , , , , on May 11, 2017 by GJK

scraggly grass is curiously clipped

uniformly by an unwieldy

and aggressive machine.

the scent of gasoline melds with that of tree pollen

and the internal fluids of innumerable

bifurcated herbaceous dicotyledons.

wending its way through that melange

is the aromatic certainty

of rain-clouds drawing near.

it is the first mass torture of spring.

i grin impishly at the dirt

between the green, severed blades.

do your work, soil

i say.

i laugh, walk away

and slay my evil minion

by throwing a dead, vulgar tarpaulin

over the top of the hulking beast.

i congratulate myself

for a job well done —

(a ridiculous job that offends

my neo-tribal philosophy,

but this ain’t grad school

and my philosophizing is sporadic

and incoherent at best)


the trouble, i suppose,

is simply some vague fear

of incurring a fine from the city

for allowing grass to be grass.

the deeper reason, though,

for this botanical violence

is the bloom of happiness

i see upon her face

as i brush the dirt from my hands

and the first drops fall upon our skulls.




ignoring all

Posted in best of GJK, New Poems, no-mad poets, poems, poems 2017, taoist, zen with tags , , , , , , , , , , , on March 9, 2017 by GJK

i sit contentedly ignoring all that surrounds

and focus only upon the internal realm

of consciousness in all its infinite, formless

and unknowable grandeur.  i am beauty and ugliness,

i am order and entropy, i am all

and i am nothing.

i laugh aloud and startle my neighbors in this common room

of this public house.  i alight from my overstuffed chair

and exit abruptly to smoke that cigarette

that awaits me in the shotgun seat of my own truck

and damn it is wonderful.

the sun shines on the smoke

and i disappear




what sarcasm is

Posted in humor, poems 2010, sarcasm with tags , , , , , , , , on September 6, 2010 by GJK

and what it isn’t.

first, don’t take it too seriously

but don’t forget that there is

a seed of truth

behind every



a joke is

what sarcasm is.

what it isn’t


a good way to save the world

a good way to communicate with







and anyone else

who doesn’t “get it” —

there you go, this is

a joke


this didactic-poemy

is just

is simple

is sarcasm

so don’t believe

a single word.

believe them all.

now, just who

is joking

with whom?



taking Happiness with him

Posted in humor with tags , , , , , on July 26, 2010 by GJK


i woke up today and decided to try

to find Happiness. i looked in my closet

but all i found was shirts, pants

and a sleepy hobo who i promptly

ejected from the house. he was

wearing a t-shirt that said

U.S.A. A-OK!

and he smelled like a bale of marijuana

that had been stored too long

in a musty basement.

next, i went to the bathroom

and looked in the toilet.

Happiness wasn’t there so

i looked in the bathtub and

the medicine cabinet. no luck.

i looked in the kitchen cupboards

but all i found was soup cans,

sugar, flour, plates, a shotgun

and a bird’s nest. there were

two little blue eggs in the nest.

i grabbed the shotgun and

the nest and went outside

and then i blasted the nest

with the shotgun. i didn’t

need the nest or the eggs

because neither of them

was Happiness. i searched

all around the yard without

finding anything then went

back inside. i looked in the

refrigerator and all i found

was a cantaloupe, a block of cheese,

a carton of yogurt and a full-grown

robin. the robin chirped at me

and then i felt bad for what

i had done with the shotgun.

i thought that maybe Happiness

was hiding inside the cantaloupe

so i smashed it on the floor

and poked around in the pulpy,

wet carcass. i didn’t find

Happiness but i did find

a AAA-battery amongst the seeds.

i went back to my bedroom and

looked under the bed. what i found

was another hobo, but this one

wore a t-shirt that said


and smelled like dandelions

dipped in a vat of gin. i yanked

him out from under the bed

and he looked at me, began

patting his pockets, and asked

“you don’t happen to have

 a spare AAA-battery, do you?”

when i told him i did, his face

broke out into the biggest smile

i had ever seen. he left

my house whistling, taking Happiness

with him; taking Happiness that i

hadn’t recognized with him.