Archive for the humor Category

a simple thing complicated by thinking

Posted in humor, love, New Poems, poems 2017 with tags , , , , , , , , , , on May 11, 2017 by GJK

scraggly grass is curiously clipped

uniformly by an unwieldy

and aggressive machine.

the scent of gasoline melds with that of tree pollen

and the internal fluids of innumerable

bifurcated herbaceous dicotyledons.

wending its way through that melange

is the aromatic certainty

of rain-clouds drawing near.

it is the first mass torture of spring.

i grin impishly at the dirt

between the green, severed blades.

do your work, soil

i say.

i laugh, walk away

and slay my evil minion

by throwing a dead, vulgar tarpaulin

over the top of the hulking beast.

i congratulate myself

for a job well done —

(a ridiculous job that offends

my neo-tribal philosophy,

but this ain’t grad school

and my philosophizing is sporadic

and incoherent at best)


the trouble, i suppose,

is simply some vague fear

of incurring a fine from the city

for allowing grass to be grass.

the deeper reason, though,

for this botanical violence

is the bloom of happiness

i see upon her face

as i brush the dirt from my hands

and the first drops fall upon our skulls.




habit and rancor

Posted in best of GJK, for Calvin Grandaw, for Jingle et. al., humor, New Poems, no-mad poets, poems, poems 2017, prose, taoist, zen with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on March 16, 2017 by GJK

GJK, 16MAR2017


habit and rancor’

hello, predictable. hello, habit. hello shitty diner coffee

that i do so love with every fiber of my mortal being, every mote

of the ephemeral essence that is not me, yet, in truth, is entirely

me and you and every living thing that ever was and ever will be (which means nothing because time is a fiction) and because, as we have learned and understood for eternity — time is not real.

conversely, timelessness is also not real. confusion enters

the mind and sugar is stirred into the ‘brackish black liquid’

and down my gullet it goes and once again i proclaim:

Sentence structure be damned to the deepest bowels

of the most foul, vile and wicked lake of fire

that sentience itself has ever imagined within

the rancorous confines of earthly existence!

YAWP! grammar, to hell with thee! freedom, expression, caffeine! exaltation and liberty!

* * *

the meaning of life

Posted in humor, New Poems, poems, poems 2012 with tags , , , , , on August 26, 2014 by GJK

a little boy runs down the sidewalk

pocket jangling and curly hair bouncing.

he runs after the ice cream man

whose cart bells clang and clamor.

the boy’s life is singular and purposeful –

he is chasing happiness

which is easily apprehended

by a child.

he trades a few paltry coins for any icy treat

which he promptly shoves into his mouth.




keeping house (1)

Posted in humor, New Poems, poems, poems 2014, zen with tags , , , , , , , , , on August 25, 2014 by GJK

it’s inevitable that something will go wrong

every day.  today the cats grew thumbs

and popped the lid off the container of fresh

chocolate mint picked just yesterday and

flung it all over the kitchen table.  needless

to say, i was pissed.  but i had meant to

put all three varieties of mint from the garden

into bags and into the freezer so i suppose

they did me a favor. those irrepressible

little darling creatures decided to put an end

to my procrastination in the herb department.

so now that the mints are nestled in the

freezer next to the red chilis i feel better.

mess created; mess dealt with; crisis of anger

averted.  rain pelts the roof and i am at peace.



GJK_June 12th, 2012

Posted in haiku, humor, New Poems, poems 2012, sarcasm with tags , , , , , on June 14, 2012 by GJK


beef sizzles on grill

somnolent nose awakens—

pocketful of dimes


           heralds hunger,

           jangles malaise.





cute dimples and eyes

will not convince me to spend

money i don’t have.


           please stop trying,

           ms. ponytail…





blue sky burdens ire,

bombards gloom with happiness

and lightness of heart.


           fuck you, sunshine!

           fuck fresh air, too…






doom-ku (we’re all gonna die)

Posted in haiku, humor, no-mad poets, poems 2012, taoist with tags , , , , , on April 5, 2012 by GJK




now ’tis supper-time

slate-grey dawn shatters golden —

terror-sun looms mute.





gloom swells the unknown

doom is certain so we dance,

obliquely hopeful.





Posted in for Jingle et. al., haiku, humor, New Poems, zen with tags , , , , , on March 21, 2012 by GJK

i’m a space-man and

time-traveler too is me

this is literal



04:22 CDT