i type with four fingers

Posted in New Poems, no-mad poets, taoist, Uncategorized, zen with tags , , , , , on January 3, 2017 by GJK

and that is enough.

the others work well enough,

but with four my mind has time to float

a bit

yet remained tempered by focus

as sharp as a bushido blade.

GJK

3JAN17

12:24am

to the wounded

Posted in Uncategorized on December 30, 2016 by GJK

to the wounded

i say that i hurt too and it doesn’t matter what kind

of hurt it is,

i wish that i could wish it away,

but unfortunately we have eons between us

and i am only human.

we have all felt that hollow pit in the stomach

or that stabbing eye-glare

that is perhaps a misperception

on either end;

or it’s real and agonizing physical pain,

perhaps it’s war or abuse of any kind

and i certainly do not know your particular struggle

but i can tell you that i am hunched over this machine

with terrible posture and it hurts but i NEED to get this out,

i NEED this figurative device to survive until my next breath.

so i breathe, and i notice the cat staring at me.

‘you didn’t forget about work tomorrow, did you?’

no, kitty-cat, i didn’t forget.

so!

this particular piece of automatic writing is at its end,

and i am thinking of you,

the wounded.

GJK

30DEC16

from Jack to the Aesir

Posted in Uncategorized on December 19, 2016 by GJK

at one a.m. sleep had already come and gone my mind was

rapt upon itself i had only to smoke a cigarette to once again

feel entirely human and the foreground of consciousness was full

of Kerouac and the Saint Teresa bum in the shivery gondola

clacking from Los Angeles to Santa Barbara each regarding

each other’s bumly sainthood and angelic nature as the tokay wine

passed between them as a sacrament of the rails and also

the image of Gary Snyder the mountain-man scholar reading his poem

of Coyote at Gallery Six amidst all the intellectual fops and

hepcats with their cultivated images of counterculture while

Jack and Gary the true bodhisattvas purely manifested Tao-essence

with Jack of course being responsible for everyone’s drunkenness.

outside windchimes jangle, sounding not their usual music

but instead the dread arrival of Oktober’s first jarring frigid wind

with its teeth of dead winter cutting the night

like so much dumb meat to be devoured by some Nordic beast

of demon-nightmare.  three cats luxuriate on the couch-back

behind my shoulders as the windows shudder with the

frosted breath of the devilish autumn gale.

the gravity of encroaching winter is inescapable

and the stark, magnificent autumn night

is full of unassailable and insistent vortexes

of overwhelming foreboding and fleshly truth.

bright burns the diamond-heart of the hunter

beyond the cloud-swathed sky,

bright burns the hearth-fires of the immortals

in their cavernous mead-halls shrouded in mists

of the disbelieving human mass that shivers

beneath their benevolence, caught here in mired minds

and the miasma of time.

GJK

15OCT2014

today

Posted in Uncategorized on December 16, 2016 by GJK

i found myself wandering around the house

looking for things to clean or arrange or improve somehow

i found myself burning sage in the basement

to purify that dank space

found myself eating mung beans with garlic and chili sauce

eating standing in the kitchen

straight from pan to mouth with the wooden spoon

that i used to prepare them

because why in the world would i make more dirty dishes

for myself to clean

i found myself feeding first my son and then me

scarfing down what was left

i found myself concerned with the brutal weather

the bitter wind

the frigid storm looming above

thoughts of

what if the truck breaks down

what if my love and i get stranded

what if —

then i stopped, stretched my aching back

and sighed

(holy shit i need to find a job)

(holy shit what am i forgetting)

i wished for more coffee to pour down

my thirsty gullet

but no i’ve had enough

my fucking brain can’t take it

i’m bordering on frantic as it is.

i found myself today being an adult

a husband

a dad

and how sad that it’s so unfamiliar.

forty-one and finally grew up.

goddamn.

GJK

16DEC2016

torment

Posted in best of GJK, New Poems, poems 2014 with tags , , , , , , , , , , on December 3, 2014 by GJK

thirst

plagues me

torments my calm

ruins peace of mind

tremendous desire pervades my bones

razor blades lacerate my milky eyes

brain stem throbs like a withered root

all i want is one more intoxicated moment

all i want is one more ecstatic cresting wave

all i want is the beauty of fervent feeling forever

thirst runs rampant in my desolate brain like frantic fevered vermin

lust for drunkenness writhes through brambles of consciousness from dawn to dusk

moonlight has lost its luster and coyote howls have become screams of demons

i am split asunder by the thundering blade of clarity that exposes my weakness

i shudder under the weight of the knowledge of time and its passionless lethal grip

my ability to love is hamstrung by the discord that rages within my bleak denuded soul

i feel forsaken and lost as i am set adrift on an ocean of sobriety without sails

i ache for tranquility and lightness of being but i am severed from this peace by ubiquitous need

GJK

3DEC14

angels are not [appears in self-published book Chokehold]

Posted in New Poems, poems 2002 with tags , , , , on November 24, 2014 by GJK

grinning mouth of chaos,

alluring glass conduit to numb realms –

silver-lipped cherubs falling from acid sky

screaming, severed wings trailing behind –

silver-lipped cherubs impacting ground

splattering into bloody mounds of flesh

crawling with flies

angels are dark demons in disguise

gaping mouth of chaos,

clear glass circle of stinging poison

swallowing flesh and bone

grinding marrow to dust

snakes in the mouths of mute infants

bloody lips of chaos

curiously beautiful

as they kiss

the foreheads of pious traitors

angels are dark demons

vultures fill the boiling acid sky.

GJK

22AUG02

rev. 18JUN03

phantom [appears in self-published book Chokehold]

Posted in New Poems, poems 2002 with tags , , , on November 24, 2014 by GJK

paranoia.

everyone hates me they despise me i’m a joke to them

they all want to laugh cackle guffaw point at me giggling

they want to belittle me embarrass me harass me they all

think i’m useless a waste of flesh a waste of space

my vain scratchings are futile and infantile no one wants

to read my words they think i’m dumb i’m on to them!

i know i’m an alien i am aware

my world is small they all want to yell at me berate me

conspiracies everywhere complex plots to get rid of me

everyone is the enemy no one to trust that guy over there

works for the FBI why is he staring at me and writing down

little notes?  he wants to incarcerate me incinerate me

strap me in an electric chair everyone laughing and mocking

as i fry as my eyes melt i am small no hiding from them

they are everywhere they have cameras in my bedroom

nowhere to go no one to trust can’t trust myself

maybe i am really one of them

paranoia.

existence is a game meant to defeat me

people won’t ever understand me they want to

erase me forget me i am insignificant

they are laughing riotously they are so amused

i am worthless i am in pain

i am so full of loathing and disdain

i cannot bear it  –  paranoia  –

phantom.

GJK

7JUN02

rev. 7DEC02