torment

Posted in best of GJK, New Poems, poems 2014 with tags , , , , , , , , , , on December 3, 2014 by GJK

thirst

plagues me

torments my calm

ruins peace of mind

tremendous desire pervades my bones

razor blades lacerate my milky eyes

brain stem throbs like a withered root

all i want is one more intoxicated moment

all i want is one more ecstatic cresting wave

all i want is the beauty of fervent feeling forever

thirst runs rampant in my desolate brain like frantic fevered vermin

lust for drunkenness writhes through brambles of consciousness from dawn to dusk

moonlight has lost its luster and coyote howls have become screams of demons

i am split asunder by the thundering blade of clarity that exposes my weakness

i shudder under the weight of the knowledge of time and its passionless lethal grip

my ability to love is hamstrung by the discord that rages within my bleak denuded soul

i feel forsaken and lost as i am set adrift on an ocean of sobriety without sails

i ache for tranquility and lightness of being but i am severed from this peace by ubiquitous need

GJK

3DEC14

angels are not [appears in self-published book Chokehold]

Posted in New Poems, poems 2002 with tags , , , , on November 24, 2014 by GJK

grinning mouth of chaos,

alluring glass conduit to numb realms –

silver-lipped cherubs falling from acid sky

screaming, severed wings trailing behind –

silver-lipped cherubs impacting ground

splattering into bloody mounds of flesh

crawling with flies

angels are dark demons in disguise

gaping mouth of chaos,

clear glass circle of stinging poison

swallowing flesh and bone

grinding marrow to dust

snakes in the mouths of mute infants

bloody lips of chaos

curiously beautiful

as they kiss

the foreheads of pious traitors

angels are dark demons

vultures fill the boiling acid sky.

GJK

22AUG02

rev. 18JUN03

phantom [appears in self-published book Chokehold]

Posted in New Poems, poems 2002 with tags , , , on November 24, 2014 by GJK

paranoia.

everyone hates me they despise me i’m a joke to them

they all want to laugh cackle guffaw point at me giggling

they want to belittle me embarrass me harass me they all

think i’m useless a waste of flesh a waste of space

my vain scratchings are futile and infantile no one wants

to read my words they think i’m dumb i’m on to them!

i know i’m an alien i am aware

my world is small they all want to yell at me berate me

conspiracies everywhere complex plots to get rid of me

everyone is the enemy no one to trust that guy over there

works for the FBI why is he staring at me and writing down

little notes?  he wants to incarcerate me incinerate me

strap me in an electric chair everyone laughing and mocking

as i fry as my eyes melt i am small no hiding from them

they are everywhere they have cameras in my bedroom

nowhere to go no one to trust can’t trust myself

maybe i am really one of them

paranoia.

existence is a game meant to defeat me

people won’t ever understand me they want to

erase me forget me i am insignificant

they are laughing riotously they are so amused

i am worthless i am in pain

i am so full of loathing and disdain

i cannot bear it  –  paranoia  –

phantom.

GJK

7JUN02

rev. 7DEC02

i am [appears in self-published book Chokehold]

Posted in New Poems, poems 2002 with tags , , , on November 24, 2014 by GJK

i am spiderwebs of memory and dream

wiped clean by broom of harsh reality –

i am rainfall soaking skin of human brethren –

i am lightning flash that burns retina –

i am cloudless night with starlight pinpoint sight –

i am thunderclap

thunder-god of electric nightmares –

i am poverty of soul –

i am bomber of sandy nations –

i am prayer-chant unanswered

incense burned, blood offered, unanswered –

i am water-bearer

illuminating human subconscious caverns –

i am song-singer

dawn bringer, light giver –

i am oceans swallowing continents –

i am hurricane

multi-headed leviathan –

i am thunderclap

thunder-god smashing ideologies –

i am proletariat raising calloused hands

in defiance of aristocratic violence –

i am eye of heaven –

i am divinity –

i am deity –

i am God

and i am nothing.

GJK

9SEP02

sing

Posted in 4x4x4, New Poems, poems, poems 2014 with tags , , , , , , , on October 26, 2014 by GJK

autumn decay

sunshine decline

retreat of geese

leaf-piles burning

Orion looms

near sublime moon

wolf-packs wander

pine needles fall

firewood stacked tall

gardens tilled under

coyotes prowl

mad humans howl

audacious frost

wind whispers winter

hawks circle high

Oktober sings

GJK

3OCT14

flung

Posted in prose, zen with tags , , , , , , , , on October 25, 2014 by GJK

whether or not you open your eyes it is there staring at you

taunting you breathing its demon-heat upon you it is only reality

no need to fear or hide from it but goddamn some days

you just want to stay asleep.  your eyelids droop with the

gravity of toil and regret and you want to forget you want

to disavow everything want to coil inward refusing to

acknowledge that anything is real.  and you’re right.

nothing is real.  but you are in a dream that requires your

participation and you are too weary to lift any stones today

too worn thin to be burdened by anything too wretchedly spent

to even tolerate awareness of your own existence.

oh but the day is passionless it cares not for you

or anyone.  it is flung upon you and it can be a shroud

or a sail.  you wonder whether it matters but grudgingly

you try to summon a ragged wind.

GJK

21OCT14

silence

Posted in prose, zen with tags , , , , , , , , on October 25, 2014 by GJK

silence whines eerily thwarts all attempts at

meditation so what what do i do?  fevered, addled,

sweating-then-shivering languishing in sickness i am

tortured by the mosquito-like scream boring itself into

my ears and temples, labored breathing, reality askew.

dxm and pineapple juice in a glass cup oozes down into the cracks

of a stoney afternoon a sick day an infirmary for one

for myself the sticky meltiness clings to the throat and

teeth the fucking insistency of that sound!  that electric

swarm of hornets surrounds me with all the fury of

an unbridled sun burning away consciousness with its

all-consuming glaring barrenness… it shatters

peace of mind, this wedge of calamity.

GJK

16OCT14

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